i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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