i need an iv and a liver transplant
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
