smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
