you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
