Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
