6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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