ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
