i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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