I am puke
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
