nut hugger
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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