A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
