Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
