I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
