Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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