I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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