just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
