it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
