Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(954): View more from Florida

Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!

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(647): View more from Ontario

Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.

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(813): View more from Florida

I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.

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(443): View more from Maryland

Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?

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(619): View more from California

You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.

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(517): View more from Michigan

I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.

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(317): View more from Indiana

I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....

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