how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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