Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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