This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
