all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
