What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
