and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Come on in and take your pants off
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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