Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
