so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
