booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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