So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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