You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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