No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
should my penis look like a turkey
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
