Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
