am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
