I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
