Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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