hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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