maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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