Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Randomize
