This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
