I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
