I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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