Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
