Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
