carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
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