Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
