Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
