I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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