also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
