I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
