just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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