I smell stomach acid.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
